What does it take to have a terrible team in professional football? Take a bad quarterback, non-existent running game, then couple that with a shoddy defense and you’ve got the correct recipe for futility. Here’s a rundown of some of the worst teams of all time, with a look at why they are the kings of epic FAIL in the NFL. Plus, a look at college teams that are perennial losers.

5. 1980 New Orleans Saints

The Saints were once known to have the nickname the “Aints,” a moniker they seem to have shaken since winning the Super Bowl in 2010 with a powerful offense. But no one is going to forget the terrible defense of this 1980 team, with opponents putting up an average of 30 points per game. Even though the offense was so-so with Archie Manning throwing 509 times, that couldn’t make up for the fact that the team’s top running back only gained 366 yards.

Smells like team spirit.

4. 1991 Indianapolis Colts (1-15)

This Colts team was only one point away from having the worst record in football at the time, but they squeaked out a win in their 11th game of the season. The offensive line was terrible; the running game scoring only three touchdowns despite having all-pro back Eric Dickerson on the team. Quarterback Jeff George was sacked 56 times. The defense was ranked last in the NFL.

Dickerson in 1991: “Personally, I wouldn’t come out and watch a game.”

3. 2001 Carolina Panthers (1-15)

In 2001, Carolina won its very first game, then proceeded to lose the rest of them. This was mainly due to shoddy quarterback play by 2001 fourth-round draft pick Chris Wienke out of Florida (he ended up with 11 touchdowns and 19 interceptions). The defense ranked last, and Carolina’s leading rusher had less than 700 yards. But it shows how quickly things change in pro football: two years later, the 2003 squad ended up in the Super Bowl.

The famous “Wienke Wind-up.”

2. 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-14)

It probably didn’t help that the Bucs played in uniforms colored Creamsicle, with a logo that featured a man holding a knife in his mouth – but that is merely another observation of a notably bad team.

“Bucco Bruce” was the Bucs logo until 1996. We’re not making this up.

Prior to 2008, the 1976 Tampa Bay team was known as the worst team in the history of professional football. In its first year as an expansion franchise, the team posted a 0-14 record and had the worst offense and defense in the entire NFL.

1. 2008 Detroit Lions (0-16)

The 2008 Lions currently hold the record for the worst single season win-loss tally. They were so bad that if you travel to 0and16.com you will be automatically redirected to the Lions’ official site (someone outside of the Lions organization bought the domain, then had it redirected).

The team started three different quarterbacks during the season (one of which allowed a safety by running out of the end zone), and the defense ended up ranked last in the league for points allowed. The offense only managed to score 18 touchdowns the entire season.

That’ll be two points – for the other team.

BONUS: 3 College Teams That Just Can’t Win

As bad as these NFL teams were, some college football teams are even worse. Here are three teams that are perennial losers, despite their colleges trying to support them over a long period of time.

3. Temple

Even though Temple’s football team has a stadium that holds 68,000 to support its large student population, Temple has sorely disappointed its fans. It was even kicked out of the Big East in 2004. Although they were invited to a bowl game in 2009, it was the first since 1979.

You’d be sad, too.

2. Indiana

They consistently get beaten up by their Big Ten rivals, and that’s probably a big reason why their 50,000 seat stadium only averages 30,000 fans. When is the last time Indiana won the Big Ten conference outright? Back in 1947!

 

Indiana wins an old wooden bucket – if they can beat Purdue.

1. Eastern Michigan

This team is ranked as having one of the worst Division I FBS win-loss percentages at .454. In its history, Eastern Michigan has had eight winless seasons, including 2009. It can’t even compete in the Mid American Conference, a mid-major collection of college teams.

It’s sack lunch time!

Anyone who says, “it’s just a game” has never known the joy of professional football. Football is more than a game. It is a way of life. Baseball may be America’s pastime, but the time it passes is the time between the Super Bowl and Training Camp. For some, the NFL is a higher calling. These are just some of the super fans.

7. The Cheeseheads (Green Bay Packers)

While the term “Cheeseheads” refers to the Packers nation in general, this article is dedicated to the facilitators of the Lambeau Leap. Make no mistake, when the big Green Machine scores a touchdown, these Wisconsinites love nothing more than to embrace their receiver in a loving and welcoming environment. However if you try to get into their personal space without wearing the yellow and green, things could get ugly.

Luckily, for Ocho Cinco, he had a mole on the inside. For everyone else, it is better not to even try.

6. The Dawg Pound (Cleveland Browns)

The Dawg Pound puts the Cheeseheads of Lambeau to shame. Unlike the Green Bay Packers, the Cleveland Browns haven’t enjoyed a successful legacy filled with NFL heritage and world championships. The Cleveland Browns didn’t even exist for 3 seasons in the late 90’s, and their legacy is as dark and tainted as the fans that inhabit the Dawg Pound.

Notice, what was once cute and funny in Green Bay now appears to be a life-threatening risk not worth taking. The Dawg Pound barely likes their own team; they have less than zero tolerance for the opposition.

5. Wayne “The Violator” Mabry & the Black Hole (Oakland Raiders)

Wayne can be seen distinctly at 1:33 in the following video:

The Violator is the original. He is known to have started it all. If the Cheeseheads punk kids and the Dawg Pounders are violent teens, those who inhabit the Black Hole are the serial murderers that dropped out of school. Striking fear in the hearts of visiting teams, both physically and psychologically, these fans help ensure that the Raiders Nation stays strong, no matter how awful the Raiders may be.

4. Zema “Chief Zee” Williams (Washington Redskins)

Washington Redskins super fan and presumed homeless guy Zema Williams has been dressing up as an Indian Chief and cheering on the Redskins for years. What’s more exciting than watching an elderly African American dressed up as an elderly Native American cheering on a bunch of young All-Americans? Check out his “Inside the Actor’s Studio” style interview.

It’s hard to believe that so many deep insights can come out of someone like this, but the interview and Chief Zee prove that America loves the Redskins.

3. Barrel Man (Denver Broncos)

When your favorite team is the Denver Broncos, life as a super-fan can be tough. Have you ever tried dressing up as a horse? It’s impossible! That’s why Tim McKernan did the next best thing by painting a horse on a barrel and dressing up as a 1920’s cartoon hobo.

Unfortunately, he is no longer with us (as spending 30 years in Denver without a shirt makes you incredibly susceptible to lung failure). Barrel Man was a staple of the Broncos for years. Although he’s currently six feet under, his legacy lives on forever at Mile High, which is now called Invesco Field… but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

2. Don “Bearman” Wachter (Chicago Bears)

A staple of Chicago Bears history for years, Don “Bearman” Wachter started as just a lowly fan.

However, after years of supporting the team, Bearman became more than just a fan when the Chicago Bears made him a part of their pre-game ritual in the early 2000’s. Carrying out the team flag and leading the crowd was the job of the Bearman until the Chicago Bears unveiled an official mascot a few years later. Not one to begrudge, Don headed back to his season seats, where he still sits and cheers on the fans during every home game.

It would American injustice to use the words super fan and Chicago Bears in the same paragraph without also providing this.

Bill Swerski’s Superfans (with Joe Mantegna)
Uploaded by FatherMcKenize. – Click for more funny videos.

1. Fireman Ed (New York Jets)

Fireman Ed is like the tough Bronx version of Mickey Mouse in Fantasia. Never have I seen a single man command 60,000 drunken football fans with the ease and control of Fireman Ed, as seen here:

No make up. No costume. Just pure New York brawn in the form of a humble civil servant. Fireman Ed has been going to jets games for years, and was the one to pioneer (and orchestrate) the now famous “J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS” chant. What mascot could possibly mean more to a team than a working New York Fireman? For these reasons, Ed is top dog on this list.

While the road to super-fandom is long and arduous, requiring all of your time from September to January, it is possible for anyone to succeed at it. For those who would rather just sit at home, maintaining their “family” and “job,” may these super-fans serve as an inspiration.